A Letter from Dora’s Crazy Soul Sister

Wow. Okay. So after two and a half weeks I somehow managed to finally get on the plane. My fluffy Darla doo and I are in need of reuniting. I have tears in my eyes, having just read the Silver Oak/Timeless email chain that Laurie forwarded to all of us. Laur – I will be replying!!

I started writing the day Laurie left, as one of my favorite parts of our time together was her reading her blog entry to me, reliving our prior day with smiles, belly aching and tearful laughs. Laur says my laugh these days is identical to mom’s. I am proud and honored!!

I told Laurie I’d do my best to continue on with her posting/entries but my days are spent a bit different than Laur’s. I also have a tendency to pass out the second my head hits the pillow vs write the night away. Anyways, 2.5 weeks later, I’ve been able to find pockets of time that I’m not trapezing, playing tennis, working, running, paddle boarding, kayaking, playing ping pong and volleyball, sailing, entering into pool contests, deeply connecting and chatting with new found friends from ALL walks of life, eating, drinking, dancing, and yes, partying my heart out. Here is a compilation of the bits and pieces I’ve managed to write, finished with a long summary to try and capture everything else I missed. 

It’s the Laurie in me, but I have to start off by admitting one of the reasons I’ve stopped writing is because one of my favorite recipients is no longer here to respond. I never could wait for Uncle Bruce’s response to my travel writings or passionate topics I’d choose to write about. Maybe I’ll start back up again depending on how this goes 🙂

Ahhhemmm (clearing my throat – not to be confused with a Covid cough – I’ve been tested 3 times in the last 3 weeks and I’m positively NEGATIVE). 

Lucky lucky me and a MAJOR thanks to my brother Matt for letting his warm hearted, happy and joyful love of his life, Catherine. What a time we have had. I’m thankful for each person in this family. But the last week and a half really made me realize how truly lucky. We’ve always been close and shared a bond, but as many of our new friends commented, Catherine and I are truly friends. She is a sister I always dreamed of having. Spending time with her is so easy, meaningful and enjoyable. From dancing like lunatics to taking shots, meeting new friends of all shapes and sizes to long deep conversations about life, love, family and purpose. I realized how truly blessed I am. It is not often that you find people that you can be the most raw and real form of YOURSELF with. I am so grateful to have that with my sister in law – truly. Just like Laurie shared about our time together, Catherine and I shared so many belly aching laughs, but also tears. What a special week and a half I will forever cherish that I got to have with Catherine. I cannot tell you all how happy I am that my brother has a wife with a heart like that. It felt as if Matt and coconut were on our trip. They were on FaceTime to enjoy every moment, or to recap every experience they couldn’t join us on. Like the sailing excursion that will come shortly. 

Okay I will begin…but only after I reiterate how grateful I am for my soul sister Laurie Sue. I don’t know how to choreograph the words to express my gratefulness. The ease to my anxieties, the key to my journey of happiness I had no idea I could feel. Laur – only tears and hugs can give the proper expression. Along with the week we had!!!

As uncle B said in his timeless email, the only way to have made the last 2.5 weeks better, would have been to have the whole family with me (I cried when I read that part). I’m sure you could tell from our frequent FaceTimes and texts! I missed everyone dearly!! 

Okay here I go…

I started writing THIS from the beach in the middle of my work day but am now back in the hotel room, showered, hair dried, make up done sitting on my bed writing in my fancy PJs (I know what I’m getting Laurie for her bday…shhh!!!!). Catherine is getting ready still. I was scolded on day one for calling her Cathy. I and Jeanette are the last ones to call her by her nick name she has been dying to get rid of her whole life. It’s a work in progress. I’ve got it to “Cath” and catch myself and then as the “rin” – I asked if I could call her rin since I’m having so much trouble. She was amused.

Anyways…you heard about Laurie’s happy tear-filled goodbye so I won’t make either of us relive those tears. I’m feeling pretty good though because we just decided we’re gonna do another adventure in March or April. Wahoooo!! (Since writing this, Catherine committed to Turks in April with me – who’s in?).

Okay so it’s Tuesday (2 days after Laur left) and I drink a LOT more than Laurie so I’m not exactly sure what we did following Laurie’s departure. If I had to guess…we went down to the beach, enjoyed some margs, sat at sharkies for some drinks as we watched the sunset and enjoyed a pre-dinner snack with lovely live music behind us. It was Catherine’s first night. She was just as excited about the food display at the restaurant as I was on day one. Me, I can barely eat. I never want food unless it’s sharkies grilled cheese or fish at the Flamingos restaurant next door. Cat (nickname approved) did two rounds of the Covid approved buffet. She loved it. I decided I’d drink a majority of my courses instead – mainly because I was desperate for a wake up – I was quite tired. So two espresso martinis later, we were heading to the show to snag our seats for the circus performance. Surprisingly enough, I was still impressed by the show even though I had already seen it. Maybe it’s because I am a trapeze artist myself and I have an even greater appreciation for their skills. It is NOT easy. The fear alone. 

Okay pause. I already told this to dad but as we all know, it’s been QUITE an emotional time for me, full of a ton of reflecting on life, trying to clear my head of all the toxicity (between the BS on the news, politics, Covid, the “vaccine,” and work). I have been in f-ing LALA LAND. HEAVEN. The people, the pure genuine happiness spewing from people’s mouths, dance moves, eye contact, attentiveness in conversation, body language – their ease in approach to living life. The thirst they have to live a FULL life. Not letting fear hold them back.

I know this sounds cheesy but…the whole trapeze thing has truly changed my life. And I will say, it is thanks to Adam’s book suggestion that I decided to do it (the slight edge – mom, you need to read it). I’m someone who has big ideas but lives in so much fear to actually take action. I find so many excuses. Excuses on excuses on excusssses!!!! I decided. I had to do it. Face ONE of my fears. I did it. I needed more of it, to prove to myself that I can do it WELL. I was a ballerina once upon a time – I knew I could do it. I just needed to keep trying – dig out my bravery and confidence. The WORST part is the damn ladder. I begged for them to get me to the plank at the top another way…said it was next to impossible unless they throw me. I am still terrified climbing the ladder but they coach me the whole way up and speak to me as if I’m in meditation to calm my nerves (by the end of my full stay, the ladder was a cinch!). They build me up and calm me down all at the same time – they bring Brie, Andréa, Miguel and Charly. Standing on that plank before I crush the chalk in between my sweaty palms and inch my toes to the edge of the board, Brie and Andréa always make me look out and take in the view of the ocean and find a peaceful moment. 

I jump. I swing and feel those abs that I don’t have. The moment is freeing. I don’t look down. I wait for Charly or Miguel’s commands. I really can’t get enough. As you know…I went on to learn more tricks and earned a spot in the show!! I was terrified but thanks to my stage mom, Catherine, I shined!! On my third day of trapezing, Andréa pulled a thin white rubber bracelet off her wrist. She told me I was official and how proud they were of me. It has the club med symbol and says trapeze. Again, more cheese (as I’m writing this from the plane w my first class cheese plate – I’m so fancy, I know). So this bracelet – it is my greatest souvenir from this whole 2.5 wks. Every time I look down at it, I remember the lesson I’ve learned. I just need to TAKE THE JUMP in whatever I choose and believe in myself that I have the bravery to do it and I will experience that freeing feeling. 

So I will take a few steps back. It’s been quite a whirlwind of a trip.

Upon Catherine’s arrival, we didn’t skip a beat. Monday came and it was armada time. So as we know, everyone vacations differently. Catherine luckily is married to Matt – my childhood vacation buddy. Matt and I never sat still. We always were playing games, running and swimming from sharks, etc. 

I told Catherine we had to have breakfast and get to the sailing lesson so we could go to iguana island on the armada trip later that day. She was game. So…on the way to breakfast…I saw my trapeze friends. They were so enticing. I decided I’d skip my sailing lesson, give up being the captain and tag along in someone else’s boat so I could get some trapeze in. I did some work and then 1:30 rolled around – Armada time! It was Aiden’s day off (the aerobics instructor, who Cat refers to as “Polly pocket” – and insane body of muscles but under 5’7”). I got excited to see him and asked if we could be on his boat. He had confirmed he was not a captain and needed to join someone else. He had only been on the boats as a passenger…sooo we waited to get our boat assignment (30 other ppl waiting). The last 3 to get called…Julie, Catherine and…Aiden!! Aiden and I looked at each other wondering who was going to fake it and be the captain. The sailing instructor asked if we could swim, and said okay you’ll be fine!

I told Cat to leave anything behind that she was not okay getting wet. She brought a bag with our phones. Aiden brought his phone, tied to his arm by a string. Okay so we board, we’re the last of the 10 sail boats to leave. Aiden took charge and was doing great. I was so proud and cheering him along. So there’s a whole thing with the sails needing to catch wind. Aiden nor I knew how to truly turn. He was calm with slight fear in his eyes. All of the sudden he screamed for me to grab the steering poll. Some tiny screw that held the entire massive sail had unscrewed!!! Oye. Vey. Our sail was being held up by Aiden and his muscles!!!! I was holding the screw (the size of pilaf rice) and had to reattach while we blew in the wind, trying to make sure we didn’t steer into the reef, while Aiden held our sail, keeping us from capsizing. As he held it up to keep it taught with wind, I managed to hook and screw it in with 2 fingers. We were back – team work!! However…we could no longer see the other boats. They were far gone and we had blown quite far. Where the f was the safety boat we wondered. At this point, we were getting the hang of it but our passenger Catherine, was NOT having it. She was such a trooper but the rambunctious crashing of the salty waves, splashing her in the eyes…well not her cup of tea. She finally had looked at us and asked “okay I’m fine and all but you can’t be telling me you’re enjoying yourselves?” Aiden and I looked at each other, smiled and laughed “this is amazing!!!!” To each their own!

Finally, Paulo came to our rescue!! Paulo is the Mexican/Canadian Jew Laurie has talked about. After a full two weeks at club med, I have to say, he’s my favorite. If he weren’t 28 and living a short stint in the bachelor-like Club Med, I might try to make him my husband. What a deep, easy going, free spirit. He really reminds me a lot of myself, except he doesn’t live in the fear that I do!!! He’s had such an impact on me since being here. 

Okay anyways, back to the rescue! Paulo coached Aiden how to turn and eventually we make it. Paulo is seriously a pro sailor- wow! So the best part…2 hours later…we get close to Iguana island. Go Aiden!!! Apparently he wasn’t doing good enough. Paulo showed up again but this time with Julio. Julio was going to take our boat and we were instructed to board the rescue motor boat so we could get to iguana island before we had to turn around. We jumped into the water, walked to shore. Explained we had a broken boat – it wasn’t Aiden’s fault. So we jump to the island and Catherine and I run to see the iguanas. Some guy yelled at her for chasing and scaring them…lol. The pictures don’t do it justice but will bring you a good laugh. Less than 2 minutes later after snagging a couple pics of the iguanas, we were summoned. Back to club med! So you know, we were supposed to spend a couple of hours on iguana island…imagine a deserted island with nothing but clear water, sand and…these cutie little dinosaur looking guys…welp. Catherine again – NOT AMUSED! But she just laughed it off. 

Naika came to our rescue – the other sailing pro. Young 25 year old from Canada that left home t work, live and experience a different life – not wanting to conform to the society I also was brought up to live in and follow. She was unbelievable. She was practically sailing with her toe while drinking a martini. Jk. But seriously she was easy breezy lemon squeezy. Aiden, Catherine and I laid in the middle to relax. Waves would splash us lightly until…the storm clouds rolled in…yup. It began POURING rain. The sky was nearly black. You couldn’t see the island. I was loving life. My life was in naika’s hands and I trusted her like I trusted charly to save me on the trapeze even if I let go of the bar and held on by just one leg.

As Laurie says, have trust!!!!! and that I do!! Thank you my love, Laurie sue!!  We were getting poured on. It was warm. Catherine was struggling between laughter at our situation and somewhat actual anger at the cold and “raft” I convinced her to take to an island an 2 hours away without a captain. We landed back on the club med sand, grabbed quesadillas from sharkies and headed to the main bar as the storm and rain clouds weren’t going anywhere.

Thankfully, I’m Matt’s one and only favorite sister, so he never gets mad at me :). I would never put his prize possession in true danger. I actually believe I had a positive impact on Catherine. I got her to wear color AND patterns. Something she hasn’t done since her wedding. She was so into the themes with me and dressed up every night – other than the night I walked into the pole. We took that night off.

I’m sitting on the plane writing this, sipping on a vodka soda, racking my brain for all of the stories I want to share. If you’re still reading, god bless you.

Some highlights to share…well, Since Laurie has left, our “friends” have changed a bit LOL! We have made friends with these four 25 year old boys from Queens. They are adorable. We take them in as our little degenerate brothers. They always make sure we have food and drinks. I supplied them with another “treat.” If you can’t figure it out, let’s talk about it offline. Let’s just say, it provoked us to have deep and meaningful conversations. Peter, such a little cutie, shard with me that he doesn’t want to graduate and do the whole 9-5 thing. But he was brought up in a strict environment. He’s been in NY his whole life. He’s finishing his masters at Baruch. I told him to run. Go somewhere, experience life. Don’t lock himself down. Live in another country. Take advantage. We have our whole lives to settle down. This night led us all to being STARVING. It was 1am and nothing was open. This was our last day…earlier in the day…Catherine got an itch. She didn’t want to leave. Of course, one drink led to another and before I knew it, we were booked for The dreamy Palms for another 4 days. 

We had already taken our Covid test. Truly – it is so easy to travel internationally right now. All the hotels have Covid tests onsite for free or at a neighboring property. As we walked the beach to the hotel where we were scheduled to get our Covid test, she yelled (playfully) “why are we going if we’re gonna extend??!!!” The sand whipped at our bodies. It was the windiest day yet. No sailing today, however, Extensions were underway. And so we’re sharkies grilled cheeses – I started getting them for breakfast…and lunch.

After we decided to extend, we told our club med friends who were trying the whole week to get us to push our return out. At first I was ready to get out of the party but then, the music started and the dancing was vibrating through my veins. I quickly regretted our hotel change. Catherine told the boys she needed to switch to a bougie hotel. She needed creamer for her morning coffee and a robe in her hotel room. Aiden and Paulo quickly offered to make it happen. It was too late…we were committed.

I truly will miss these people. While they may live in mayhem – I mean seriously it’s like worse than mom’s soap operas. This one is cheating on that one and this one is going after that one, etc. Regardless, I do believe I was able to make some life long friends that changed my life for the BETTER.

On our day of departure from CM, I went around and said all of my goodbyes. My GO friends couldn’t believe I was finally leaving. They urged me to stay but I promised I’d be back. Catherine told Paco I could only stay if he puts a ring on my finger. This shy and very handsome, unscathed new GO (tennis pro), has a journey ahead of him I am sure I will continue to follow. He’s off to Germany in May to finish his masters. What a brilliant guy. He played tennis with me for 1.5 hours the day before I left – encouraging and teasing me the whole time. I promised him a round of golf when I come back. Same with Paulo! 

Ugh. I can’t believe we left. No tears but I felt them on the inside. Maybe because I subsided them with a mini shopping spree before boarding the taxi…okay so…we get to The Palms and we were blown away. Catherine and I were so confused. We somehow got a penthouse suite. This place was like a boutique Ritz Carlton. It is a MUST SEE/STAY.  While my days were filled working, I enjoyed a breath taking view. Shifting from the pool to beach to adult only deck, I was in heaven. Why go home? How is it that no one would pick up Darla to bring her to me? It’s fine…I’ll remember that for when Hanukah rolls around.  

Meagan from the Club Med boutique spent the day with Catherine on our last day while I worked. I got to pop back and forth. We decided to spend our last night in our robes in bed with room service. I begged Catherine not to leave. I just needed a few more days. I was turned down. Mainly because Matt couldn’t take her being away any longer. And truly – that love they share – I didn’t want to deprive him. I see the love mom and dad have – they have it. I want it!!!! I cried to Catherine one night about needing to find THAT love. We met another couple that beamed the same love. I am destined to find it!!! 

I bawled my eyes out as one of the club med songs came on during our last breakfast, “vivid mi vida” – quite appropriate. I sure am living my life.what a nice ending to our trip, our little brothers from queens were at the airport and we got to spend the last 1.5 hours with them (me as I worked…) but we exchanged info and we are going to hang out in the city!!! We hugged goodbye and we’re off…

These last 2.5 weeks have been the refresher I’ve needed. The eye opening experiences to people and things; the removal of all negativity and toxicity. I am refreshed. I’m clear and will be making some serious changes. I thank you for your support but also for accepting and loving me without judging!!! I might be different but I’m genuine and that’s thanks to you, the people who raised me and had the greatest impact.

Sorry for the messy and out of order story. There are so many details I’m missing but, I looked forward to sharing them IN PERSON. 

Love to you all!!!!! 

Ps Laur – feel free to share this with your ppl…not sure they will read the whole thing. But worth a try!! 

Now time to get back to my baby girlfriend!!!!!!

Julie Alfin
860.202.5084